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There was a burglar sneaking across a lawn; he hears somebody say " Jesus is watching you."
He stops; looks around; he doesn't see anybody.
He continues to sneak across the lawn.
Again; he hears "Jesus is watching you."
He stops; looks around; again sees nobody.
The burglar findly gets to the house; again he hears "Jesus is watching you."
So now he really starts to look around and finds a parrot at the side of the house.
The burglar askes the parrot "Did you say that?"
The parrot says "Yes I did."
So the burglar asks "What's your name?"
The parrot says "Clarence"
The burglar replies; "What stupid idiot names his parrot Clarence?!"
"The same stupid idiot that named his rottweiler Jesus." stated the parrot.
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing. She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus. I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Slogen's Liniment will reduce the swelling" and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly contain myself.
But your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident....I just lost it!"
"Case Dismissed"
Phone Call
A young boy answers the phone
A man says, "Hello is your dad around?"
The boy whispers, "Yes."
The man then asks if he can talk to him.
"He's busy at the moment," the boy whispers.
"Then is your mom there?"
"Yes" the boy whispers.
"Can I talk to her?"
"No she's busy," the boy whispers.
"Is there anyone else there?"
"Yes" whispered the boy.
"Who" the man asked the boy.
"A Policeman," came the whispered reply.
"Well, can I talk to him?"
"He's busy too," the boy whispered.
"Is there anyone else there then?"
"Yes," whispered the boy.
"Who then?" the man asked.
"A Fireman," the boy whispered.
"Can I talk with him?"
"No," the boy whispered, "he's busy."
Annoyed, the man asked what they were all doing.
"Looking for me." the boy whispered.
A friend from :
Buffalo, New York
If you have a joke that you would like to share; please feel free in sending it to my e-mail address:
sunshine_girl_70@hotmail.com
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